I have been the proud (and slightly exalted) owner of an Apple iPhone for the last seven months or so. We had good times…listening to iTunes on the bus…watching iMovies on the train…playing iApplications at work…writing messages in iBed…waaait that ain’t right! Anyway, you get the picture! Ever since I took the plunge and signed up with O2’s 18 month contract (£35 a month) last summer so travelling to Wales to see my sweetheart would be easier (she’s a 5 hour train journey away) it’s been a great little machine. However, yesterday disaster struck…

Brick of DOOM!

There I was minding my own business, transferring some files from my laptop to my pc when out of the blue and for no reason, the iPhone wouldn’t turn on. BAM! Just like that, completely useless. Luckily I had access to the Internet (all companies seem to assume every human being does these days) and worked out a way to solve my particular problem.

How to Restore an iPhone that won’t turn on (gets stuck on the Apple screen, iTunes doesn’t recognise it etc)

1. Scream in frustration because every single other Apple product you’ve ever owned (original iPod, old iPod nano, 30gb iPod video) has broken just like this and become useless for no reason.

2. Start your iPhone up so it gets stuck on the Apple screen, then press and hold both the power button and the home button until the screen flashes and switches off (this should take just over 5 seconds). Release both buttons.

3. Connect your iPhone usb cable to the computer (with internet access -.-) and open iTunes. By the way you’ll probably want this to be the computer you usually sync your phone with…I tried to do it with my pc but it refused to work until I had to wrestle with my awful internet connection to get it working with my laptop (my most used machine)

4. Connect the other end of the cable to your iPhone whilst holding down the Home button. The dreaded Apple screen should appear on the phone now. Keep holding the button down until the picture changes to one of the USB cable with an arrow pointing at an iTunes logo.

5. iTunes on your pc should detect the iPhone and will say it needs to be restored. Click the ‘Restore’ button on the iPhone part of iTunes and then it should guide you from there in wiping it, then restoring it. If you have made regular backups of the device hopefully you should have your contacts and messages etc intact. Amazingly enough, I did.

What you have basically done here is fooled the phone/computer into thinking the phone is in a recovery state (who knows why it got bricked in the first place >.> I haven’t jailbroken it or anything…hey since I get burned by Apple when following their rules, maybe I should just say sod it and jailbreak it anyway) and it takes you through the process of recovering it.

So amazingly enough I did, after much confusion and anger, manage to restore my ‘beloved’ iPhone to working order…but to say I am annoyed and apprehensive of this happening again (I say again, for NO reason) is a bit of an understatement.

Moar iWords plz Apple!

I was walking down Fareham high street today with my mother when I came across this curious sight… Obviously these ducks thought they were try being pigeons for the day. They were sat right bang in the middle of a busy pedestrian zone outside what-used-to-be Woolworths and didn’t budge no matter who went near them…even a goon pretending his iphone was a camera.

I think I heard them singing: “Waaa…waaack…waaa…waaack…waa wack quack quee waaaaack.”

Roughly translated: “We…shaall…we shaall…we shall not be moooved!”

This morning every european’s favourite Community Relations Uppity Director (okie so I just added the ‘Uppity’ so the acronym would become ‘CRUD’) Satine posted an update about the upcoming Book (Patch) 7 for Lord of the Rings Online. This comes just over a week after her first post on the subject saying Europeans would have to wait nine days after America to get the anticipated update.

Basically, the update is being delayed again with even less apology than last time, until early April. Now if this were WoW, anyone would expect a legion of raging nerds much like like this fellow to flood the forums with all kinds of QQ. However, in testament to Lotro’s excellent community (even though it does enjoy a whine or two on occasion) Satine’s disappointing news was met mostly with understanding and even thanks.

I fall half way really…I am not impatient in general, however I am particularly anticipating Book 7 as it makes levelling in the game less grueling in two ways…a quest radar and reduced exp needed to level. However, I understand the troubles the relationship between our own Codemasters and American developers Turbine can cause to such a complicated process and can understand. I just hope this means we’ll be getting Book 7 without any strange bugs ^^.

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Starting from this Mothering Sunday, now renamed ‘Jade Goody Memorial Day’ (much to the displeasure of religious leaders), the world has united under the banner of a true paragon of virtue after her sad demise.

Yes that’s right, Jade Goody passed away on Sunday the Twenty Second of March, Two Thousand and Nine. A date that will live…in infamy. She lost her battle with cervical cancer and leaves behind a grief stricken husband and two beautiful children who miss her very much. As a nation and as human beings, we are being encouraged to rally behind her pristine example of heroism and bravery even as her televised funeral, flower memorials and London statue are bein—-

WAIT JUST A FRIGGING MINUTE!

A statue? Are you *burp*ing KIDDING ME!? A…Statue…for that jabbering, attention seeking lout!?

No. *burp*ing. Way.

Before I start ranting…I realise she and her family, no matter their vices, must have gone through more pain than I could imagine and no one deserves cancer. No one. I wish it hadn’t have happened at all…But come on! We’re not talking about some kind of war hero who died protecting her country against terrorism…or someone who contributed all she could to the world.

I mean Jade is being compared to Princess Diana. PRINCESS DIANA! Jade was nothing but a nobody who got more money in her few years of ‘fame’ than a hard working mother and father would get in a lifetime! She did nothing to deserve it, just take part in a degenerate television broadcast (the celebrity version of which exposed her as what she was to a VERY unsympathetic public). I could waltz into almost any average home in the country and pull out a person more deserving of praise than her for what she did in her life.

Honestly, I cannot find words to describe the disgust I feel at these proposals of erecting a statue of Jade Goody in London. Move over Lord Nelson! Sure you led our country to the greatest military victory in history in spite of overwhelming odds and died doing so, but you didn’t take your top off in front of any travelling artists did you!? Pah, let’s rename it ‘Goody Column’ now, that way we can all feel proud of what our country has come to!

I honestly hope that Jade’s funeral goes off well and that she is surrounded by all her loved ones as she passes from this world. I wish no harm to her (unlike several people I spoke to today) but if I could pay any price to prevent her so called “legacy” becoming monumental I would do. However, I think I can imagine what her statue would look like when constructed, as pictured below:

Rest In Peace Jade Goody. I admire what you did for your children and I am glad the insane amount of media attention your plight got is forcing more women to go and get checks at their doctors. But I would sooner die than pretend you were any more deserving of a monument or national morning than any of the hundreds of our soldiers who bravely die to protect the freedom you enjoyed and profited off of.

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